Monday, June 7, 2010

Art Trip's RealArt Artist Colors

Are your paintings dull, lifeless, flat? Do they look fatigued, exhausted, run down? Are your colors sluggish, dry, coarse, itchy or thinning? Is your art sinking into an art fog? Well, you need to switch to Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors.

Say goodbye to blah (red, blue, yellow) and floofy colors (sea foam, lavender, bubblegum, etc) that has been dragging your paintings down. Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors will liven up and rejuvenate your art and career.

Fact: 9 out of 10 artists that use Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors end up being chosen for the Whitney Biennial

97% of artists that use Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors make money from their art in the first 30 days of use.

Fact: 8 out of 10 artists that use Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors end up on the cover of Art in American Magazine

Fact: 99.9999% of artist that use Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors are befriended by Jerry Saltz on his Facebook page

Added benefits of the use of Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors: Extended use has shown to decrease snoring over time, promoting domestic bliss and an increase in world peace. Also known to shrink hemorrhoids.*

Some of our best selling colors include:

Moldy Mayo

Month-Old Sheets

Piss n Vinegar

Bathtub Ring

Pistol-whipped Peacock

Greasy T-Shirt

Cardiac Arrest

Turkish Tommy-Gun

Hockey Ice after the Fight


Nicotined Teeth

Shark Infested Waters

Hint of Your Mother

Oil Spill

Burnt Oil Spill

Best Color in the Freaking World

Blue Screen of Death


Some question commonly asked about Art Trip’s RealArt tm Artist Colors

1. Is Cardiac Arrest a shade of red?

Yes and Hockey Ice After The Fight is a shade of pink

2. Which Art Trip color is more likely to attract flies or cockroaches?

We found Moldy Mayo is quite helpful for that though Month Old Sheets is known to attract bedbugs if that the effect you are trying to achieve.

3. Do Art Trip colors change or run after drinking six beers?

All Art Trip colors are guaranteed not to run but will increase in intensity and appear to shimmer after the fourth drink (Note: Use of peyote have been shown that both Art Trip colors and the artist tend to melt into a waxy pool)

4. Do your paints use a theoretical spectral reflectance curve?

Are you f’in with me?

5. Okay then, can you show me the way to San Jose?


Now available in student grade

*As verified by the Institute of Real Art and the non-profit Rectal Realism Institute